It has happened to me many times that I have tried to teach my son the importance of asking for forgiveness. I believe that this action can cause many changes of consciousness in front of those things that are done wrong, in addition to take steps to nobility and to a correct communication.
But, I do not know if you have noticed that sometimes children ask for forgiveness in a forced way more to make a good impression or fulfill something that is being requested; because they know that in this way, they will not get any consequence or punishement for something they have done wrong
“THE IMPORTANCE OF” DRAGGING “OUR CHILDREN BY the EXAMPLE”
For this reason, I think that this word “forgiveness” can become confusing for children if it is not taught properly, since it can be taken more as a way to cancel the mistakes or as a means of releasing the guilt of what they have done. My son does it all the time and even smiles because he knows I will accept his apologize
Seeing this situation, I consulted with a psychologist who told me that it was necessary to change his way of asking for apologize, since my son was only doing it mechanically and he was not aware that he had made a mistake. It was used to be normal for him to repeat the same fault many times; because, he knew that by saying sorry he would get rid of the reprimand.
Within his advice I really liked something he told me and it was that the proper way to conduct him it was that of reflection, to motivate him to question of what he had been doing and express in a simple way what he considered he did wrong. But, the most important thing he mentioned was that the word “sorry” should be changed by ” I ACKNOWLEDGE” or I was wrong, since these words had an effect on the conscious state of child´s brain, motivating him to change.
This fascinated me, it gave me another view of the situation and I did it immediately. I think that this way of doing it allowed me to have a deeper conversation with my son, where he also managed to express his failures with his words, sincerely acknowledging what he did wrong. It was a complete happiness for me as this allowed me to teach and guide him on the different ways in which he could behave better.
Something that the psychologist also mentioned was the importance of “dragging” our children by example since as human beings we also make mistakes. We make mistakes and many times parents believe that we lose authority over our children if we accept the mistake. But, this is just a bad example for them that leads them to learn about pride and justification in the face of what is wrong.
This shocked me a lot since it is true, we do not always say sorry or acknowledge our wrongdoing. That was enough for me, it led me to understand how it could lead my son to improve on accepting his mistakes and I understood that if I wanted a change in him, he had to start with me. Sometimes it is difficult to take responsibility for our actions and our mistakes, but recognizing them leads us to show our children the value of it, since we are a reflection of good or bad behavior for children.
I believe that from now on it will be a daily task and I will make it part of me, I know and understand that acknowledging our mistakes is an act of greatness but not of weakness and if our children learn from it, I am sure that we will be able to change our entire society .