Accepting behaviors in our children that are not appropriate for us is often difficult and sometimes even impossible to deal with. I have always said as a mother that there is no formula that helps us eradicate tantrums or tantrums in our children but in my experience and in what I have been able to learn with my son for five years, they have given me a new perspective on parenting.
I remember so much one day when my son had his first tantrum when he was only 15 months old, he got so upset just because I didn’t let him do something he wanted immediately, he threw himself on the floor screaming and I just didn’t know what to do, but I just thought and I said how should I react? The first thing I did was stop and put myself in his place for a moment, wondering how I would function better in a crisis, with yelling or with pressure? Or with words of calm that help me feel better?
I think that from that moment I saw the need to help my son, I understood the importance of teaching him to recognize his emotions so that he could self-regulate them in times of crisis, only in this way did I prevent tantrums from occurring frequently. I think that from this moment I started a series of very simple experiments, where doing them frequently led me to achieve it, but yes, always keeping calm within me.
It is true that the behavior of our children can generate stress and annoy us but if we react in a bad way things will get worse and they will generate more rebellion in them.
What to do then?
- The first thing is to bring the child to a state of calm and tranquility in order to channel his emotion.
- When he is angry I try to distract him from what is causing him stress at the moment, perhaps with sounds or songs, words that relax him and make him think about something else.
- I also like to give him a pillow or something he can hug so he can squeeze and take out his anger.
- Then I like to ask her why she has bothered, this in a calm way always listening to her making her see that there is understanding on my part.
- I explain what emotion you are feeling, saying, I know you are angry and it is normal, I understand that you are upset, but it is not right for you to shout in this way, your parents will always be here to listen to you, but you should also listen to us to that you understand why we can’t always let you do what you want when you want. We love you and we will always want the best for you.
- I also like to take him in front of the mirror to make eye contact in a fun way, talk about his behavior, explaining the correct way to act in moments of annoyance.
I confess that at the beginning it was not easy to do it, but it has worked a lot for me, I hope that these simple tips will also work for you. Remember that it is better not to stress and get angry to have better results before the correction and thus avoid creating a tense environment at home, generating much more trust with the little ones.